The wedding invitation list is an incredibly important part of the planning process. It requires a lot of thought and will undoubtedly keep couples up at night thinking about who they are going to invite and who they might disappoint. For most people there are budget concerns or limits to how many people a venue can hold. There seems to be endless questions on where to draw the line…new friends, old friends, work associates, friends of your good friends? “How long has it been since I talked to so and so… ” It’s not easy. But sometimes the hardest choices are the family invites.
More often than not, couples have a lot of pressure to invite the whole family including distant relatives. These might even be people that aren’t that close to the couple. This can add a ton of stress to even the most resolute couples. “If we invite YOUR cousins, we have to invite all of MY cousins…” No one wants to disappoint their family and no one wants to feel left out. Couples will find themselves at odds about the invite list when it comes to this dilemma. When it comes down to it, it’s not worth fighting over and I found a great article on WBUR’s advice column, Cognoscenti.
Steve Almond has some great insights into how to deal with this etiquette issue. He writes,
“One of the beautiful things about living in the modern age is that marriage no longer has to be an economic or tribal arrangement. It can be about two people who choose each other. And when they choose to marry, those two people can choose to make their own happiness their central obligation — not cousin Victor’s feelings, or great aunt Pam’s pride.”
The author is spot on in my opinion. Weddings are a lot different than they were even 50 years ago and couples shouldn’t feel guilty for planning a wedding they want. After all, this is supposed to be a celebration, so cut the guilt and make this wedding YOURS!